Teetering
by oreo-panda
Summary: Xiaoyu is a depressed college student who keeps mostly to herself, but both her roommate and the shy boy down the hall are determined to break through her shell. Chapter Nine now available for your viewing pleasure.
1. The Frat Party

Xiaoyu lay on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her Speech and Communication class had started nearly twenty minutes ealier, but she had absolutely no intention of going. Her speech about birth control was due today, and she had not even thought about starting it. In fact, she hadn't been to a single class all week. Her roommate, Julia, had not noticed so far that she had been majorly slacking. She hoped that the girl would not catch on.  
  
With a groan, she dragged herself out of bed and crossed the room, taking a seat in front of her computer. She opened up an episode of The Brak Show that she had downloaded off the Internet, hoping that it would brighten her mood. Unfortunately, she could not even manage a smile. Sighing, she slouched in her chair and turned on her instant messenger. Of course, no one was available for chat; all her friends were in class. She tried to think of something to do to occupy her time, but the only option she could come up with was to go back to sleep.  
  
Before she got back to her bed, a knock sounded on her door. She opened it to see a familiar face. "Hey, Xiaoyu," he said.  
  
"Hi, Jin," she replied, leaning her hip against the door.  
  
"You haven't been in class lately... I thought maybe you were sick, so I brought my notes over so you could copy them." He handed them to her, and she accepted them with a halfhearted smile.  
  
"Thanks," she said. "I might be in class Monday, depending on how I feel."  
  
"So... do you wanna go get some late lunch or something?" The look on his face reminded her of a puppy hoping for table scraps to fly his way. Even so, she could not bring herself to step outside of her room.  
  
"Sorry," she told him, "I'm not sure I'm up to the whole dining hall thing yet. Maybe some other time, okay?" His gaze dropped to the floor, and she tried to feel bad. For some reason, though, she could not feel anything.  
  
"Okay," he said. "Well... I guess I'll see you around." She offered him another small smile, which he returned before he hurried down the hall. Once he disappeared around the corner, she grabbed her jacket from the hook on the back of the door and trudged down the stairs. She walked outside into the cool autumn air, pulled out a cigarette, and lit it. The nicotine rushed quickly to her head, and she felt a buzz in no time. She plopped down on a bench and closed her eyes, shutting out the rest of the world and focusing on her cigarette. It was gone all too soon, and she reluctantly climbed the stairs back to the sixth floor and returned to her room.  
  
When she opened the door, she was met by an unexpected burst of bright light. Julia was back from class and rummaging through a drawer. "Oh, good," she said, "you're back." She sniffed. "You reek, Xiao."  
  
"Yeah, passed some smokers. Sorry."  
  
"Where's your bag?"  
  
"Didn't need it today." Julia raised an eyebrow, but she said nothing.  
  
"Anyway, start thinking about what you're going to wear tonight."  
  
"Wear?" Xiaoyu blinked and sat down on her bed. "I'm wearing my pajamas tonight. I'm going to bed early."  
  
"Oh, no, you're not. We're going to the Delta Chi party."  
  
"A frat party?" Xiaoyu curled into a fetal position on her bed. "You've got to be kidding me."  
  
"Nope! And I've got a friend who's going to buy us alcohol. Got anything in particular you want?"  
  
"No." She closed her eyes. "Whatever you get."  
  
"Are you okay, Xiao?" Julia asked, looking up from her search for the perfect miniskirt. "You're so, well, dead lately."  
  
"I've just been getting a lot of headaches," she lied.  
  
"Oh. Well, take some aspirin right now. You have to come to the party tonight. I don't know what I'll do if you don't come." The phone rang, and Julia scurried to answer it. "Hello? Oh, hey, Christie! What? Oh, you're kidding!"  
  
"I know what you'd do," Xiaoyu mumbled, rolling over. "Get piss drunk and have fun with the rest of your friends."  
  
* * * * *  
  
Xiaoyu downed the last of her beer and set the empty bottle on an end table. She had had several drinks, and she was feeling pretty tipsy by this point. She wandered through the crowd of people, wondering where Julia had disappeared to. She found her friend downstairs, dancing with some guy she did not know. A hand caught her arm, and she turned to see a vaguely familiar face.  
  
"Hey," said the blonde man. When she said nothing, he continued, "I'm Steve, we're in the same Biology class."  
  
"Oh," she said. "Hey."  
  
"You wanna dance?" he asked. Deciding that she had nothing better to do, she simply smiled and nodded. He put his hands on her hips, and they joined the mass of people writhing against each other. Xiaoyu felt his erection press against her, and in no time his hands had wandered down to her behind. She couldn't help but smile; for some reason, he found her attractive. She responded by pressing her body tighter against his. He in turn buried his face in her neck, sloppily kissing her skin. She closed her eyes, trying hard to ignore the excessive slobber coming from his mouth. When she could take it no longer, she pulled back and, with a sultry smile, took his hand. He grinned back at her, and the two headed upstairs to an empty bedroom. She sat down on the bed and folded her hands in her lap.  
  
"So, is this your room?" she inquired. He nodded as he opened a drawer and rummaged around. She caught her reflection in the glass of the blank computer monitor and brushed some hair out of her face. "I don't look that bad tonight," she thought. He nipped at her ear, condom in his hand. Smiling, she pushed him onto his back and straddled his waist, leaning down to kiss him. He eagerly, although messily, accepted the kiss, running his hands up under her shirt and squeezing her breasts in a rather ungraceful manner. Her hands grasped the bottom of his shirt, and she pulled it off of him. His jeans and boxers followed, and it was not long before her dress and panties joined the pile of clothes on the floor.  
  
She fell quickly into her one-night-stand routine. Suck his dick, ride him, then on to either missionary or doggy style for him to finish. This particular night, it was missionary. Steve's orgasm was rather uneventful, and he immediately rolled over, tossed the condom in the trash can beside the bed, and passed out. Xiaoyu lay on her side, her back pressed against his. Yes, this was what she had been waiting for-- simple, nonsexual contact with another human being to lull her to sleep. She craved the warmth of a loved one, but this would have to do for now.  
  
* * * * *  
  
When morning came, it took Xiaoyu a moment to remember the night's events. Steve lay next to her, snoring and hogging the blanket. She quietly got out of bed and dressed herself, then left his room without a word or even a note. As soon as she left the now quiet fraternity house, she lit up a cigarette and started walking back toward her dorm.  
  
It was early morning, and the only people she saw out and about were shorts-clad joggers who cast disapproving glances at her cigarette. She ignored them; the health of her lungs was none of their business. When she reached the Student Union, she stamped out the remainder of her cigarette and popped in to see if the coffee stand was open yet. Fortunately, it was, and she ordered a large caramel mocha. She sipped at slowly, trying to enjoy it without burning her tastebuds off. When she reached her room, the coffee had cooled to a drinkable temperature. She unlocked the door and walked in. Julia lay sprawled out on her lofted bed, snoring ever so softly.  
  
Xiaoyu set her coffee down on her desk. Suddenly, she remembered how loudly their door slammed. She whirled around to catch it before it closed, but she was too late. The sound woke her sleeping roommate. Julia squinted at her. "Xiao?" The sunlight streaming in through the window registered in her mind. "Are you just getting in?"  
  
"Yeah," Xiaoyu replied, hanging her jacket on the back of the door. She sat in her chair and turned on her computer.  
  
"Where were you all night?"  
  
"At the Delta Chi party."  
  
"No, you weren't. You disappeared, like, halfway through, and I couldn't find you. Finally, I just gave up and walked back here with Christie."  
  
"I was at the Delta Chi house. All night." Xiaoyu raised an eyebrow at her roommate, even though she doubted that the girl could see it without her glasses. Nevertheless, Julia caught the implication and grinned.  
  
"Oh really? Which one?"  
  
"Steve."  
  
"Steve... which one is he?"  
  
"The blonde one. Really built. No tan whatsoever."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I've seen him. You little vixen, you."  
  
"Eh, it wasn't that good, trust me. Soon as he was done, he passed out."  
  
"Big surprise there. Never expect a frat guy to give you an orgasm." Xiaoyu couldn't help but chuckle. She checked her e-mail and, after deleting the porn, credit card, and Viagra advertisements, only two messages remained. One was from her mother, asking why she had not called lately. The other was from Jin, letting her know that he had informed their professor of her illness and that he hoped she felt better soon. To her surprise, his thoughtfulness made her smile. She closed the e-mail and turned to Julia, who had curled up and was attempting to get back to sleep.  
  
"Hey, Jules," she said. "Wanna go get breakfast?"  
  
"Breakfast? Have you ever tried the dining hall so-called breakfast crap? No, thank you."  
  
"Actually, I was thinking something nicer. Come on, my treat. You know you want to." Julia stared at her suddenly chipper roommate for a minute, trying to decide whether or not she was actually serious. Finally, she nodded.  
  
"Okay. Let me throw some clothes on." As Julia climbed down her ladder, Xiaoyu glanced down at her own rumpled clothes and decided to follow the other girl's example. Once they were both dressed in jeans and T-shirts, they headed down to the parking lot and hopped into Xiaoyu's old Nissan Altima and took off. 


	2. What's Up With Her?

"It's a sad, sad day when you realize that McDonald's really is 'something nicer,'" Julia sighed. She continued to munch on her Egg McMuffin while Xiaoyu worked on her bacon, egg, and cheese bagel. Xiaoyu's eyes were bright for what seemed like the first time in over a month. "Damn, girl. If this is what bad sex does to you, I would love to see you the morning after good sex."  
  
"So would I. I can't remember the last time I got some." She took a bite of her hash brown. "But hey, I don't expect too much right now. I'm still young, I've got plenty of time." Julia nodded, still bewildered by her roommate's sudden outburst of cheerful behaviour.  
  
"So," she said, pausing to drink some orange juice, "why are you in such high spirits all of a sudden, anyway?"  
  
"I dunno. Maybe 'cause I had coffee this morning." She left it at that, and Julia did not press. They chit-chatted about classes (with Xiaoyu mainly bluffing her way through the conversation, since she had not actually attended any classes all week) as they finished their breakfast. As they dropped their papers into the trash can, Xiaoyu said, "Let's go shopping!"  
  
"Shopping?" Julia blinked. "Man, you really are in a good mood today!" She grinned, and Xiaoyu smiled back. "Where do you want to go?"  
  
"I dunno, I was thinking Target. I'm more than a little on the broke side."  
  
"Yeah. Me, too." They hopped back into the car and drove off.  
  
* * * * *  
  
The girls returned to the dorm with two new T-shirts each. Julia had purchased some new paintbrushes, and Xiaoyu bought a pair of combat boots. They dropped their shopping bags near the door. Xiaoyu belly flopped onto her bed, and Julia switched on the television. "Wanna watch a movie?" she asked.  
  
"No, thanks." Xiaoyu snuggled into her covers. "I think I'm gonna take a nap."  
  
"Okay." Julia turned the television volume down and flipped through the channels. Nothing interesting was on, and she sighed. The only option that came to mind was to get an early start on studying for the upcoming calculus test. She gave Christie a quick call, and they arranged to meet up in the dorm lounge on the first floor. In no time, Julia had grabbed her bag and gone downstairs. Christie arrived shortly, and they took seats at a table near the open window.  
  
"What's up, girl?" Christie asked.  
  
"You'll never believe what woke me up this morning," Julia said, rummaging around in her bag for a pencil.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Xiaoyu."  
  
"What, was she talking in her sleep or something?"  
  
"No. She waltzed in this morning at, like, eight. Apparently, she hooked up with one of the Delta Chi boys last night."  
  
"No shit?"  
  
"No shit. Although she said he wasn't very good."  
  
"If it was that one I saw her dancing with, I'd believe it. That boy was practically humping the keg before he ran into her."  
  
"But yeah, she woke me up and took me to breakfast." Christie's eyebrow arched, and Julia nodded. "McDonald's. Classy stuff. And then we went shopping." At this, Christie's jaw dropped.  
  
"Shopping? Now I'm curious. What'd she buy?"  
  
"Two black T-shirts and combat boots."  
  
"Aw, damn. Guess the mood didn't bleed through to her fashion sense."  
  
"Guess not. But the whole morning, it was just the weirdest damn thing," Julia reflected. "She was all happy and bubbly and energetic. I don't think I've ever seen her like that."  
  
"Maybe it's some hormone thing," Christie offered, pulling her notebook and calculator from her bag. "I hope it lasts, though. That girl does need some sunshine in her life."  
  
"No shit." Over Christie's shoulder, Julia noticed Xiaoyu descending the stairs and heading for the door. "Hey, Xiao!" she called. The girl turned her dark eyes toward her, and she quickly donned a smile.  
  
"Hey, Jules. Hi, Christie. Calc homework?"  
  
"Yeah. Where are you off to?"  
  
"Oh... I got an e-mail from the library telling me that the book I wanted is back, so I'm going to pick it up."  
  
"At nine-thirty?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm really anxious to read it. I'll see you guys later, okay? Happy studying!" With that, she bolted through the door and into the darkness outside. Julia shook her head.  
  
"Now what was that?" she asked, staring at the now closed door.  
  
"No fucking clue," Christie replied, turning her attention back to her notebook.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Xiaoyu muttered to herself as she walked in the direction of the campus library. She should have been able to come up with a better excuse than a library book, but it was the only thing that popped into her head. Now, if she did not return with a book, Julia would get suspicious. She knew full well that she did enough strange things, and she did not want to give her roommate any reason to question her behaviour. Closing her eyes for just a moment, she took a long drag on her cigarette. She reopened her eyes and watched the smoke tendrils float up toward the clouds, dissolving in the air as they rose.  
  
When she got to the library, she stopped near the doorway and tried to think of a book to bring back. As long as she was there, she may as well get something she would actually read. The only title that came to mind was "Shanghai Baby," a novel her high school friend Nanying had e-mailed her about. After a quick search on the computer, she found the author's name, Wei Hui, and located the book. She quickly checked the book out and returned to her dorm. Julia and Christie had disappeared from the lobby, and no one was in the room when she got upstairs. She dropped the book on her desk and stretched out on her bed. Although the book sounded fun, she was not quite in the mood to read.  
  
She soon tired of counting the holes in the ceiling tiles and rolled over onto her side. The wall failed to hold her attention, and she rolled to the other side. Nothing interesting there, either. She flopped onto her stomach and buried her face in her pillow. She could barely breathe, and for a moment she reveled in her almost asphyxiation. She found herself wondering how long humans can survive without air... 


	3. Laundry Day

I raised my head and sighed. Okay, so the whole not breathing thing got to me pretty quickly. I crawled out of bed and sat my bony ass on the window sill, looking out at the dark of the campus below. A few late strollers still roamed, and some boys were engaged in a game of ultimate frisbee on the quad nearby. Fuck them. Fuck them all. Them and their happy little lives.  
  
Hidden in my top desk drawer was a pack of razor blades I'd yoinked from a QuikTrip. I reached over, opened the drawer, and grabbed the little box. I pulled out one of the blades and removed it from its cardboard shell. For a few minutes, I just stared at it, turning it this way and that in my hand, watching the light hit it from different angles. Finally, I stopped playing around and got to business. I slipped of my jeans and lightly touched the blade to the skin of my thigh, dragging it slowly across. I did this several times and made a nice, neat little row of shallow scratches. I didn't cry. There was no reason to cry; it didn't hurt.  
  
With little streams of blood running down my leg, I crossed the room and opened the closet. Razors always cut deeper than you think they will. I pulled my family-sized first aid kit from the shelf and sat cross-legged on the floor. Alcohol swab, Neosporin, Band-Aids. In no time, the cuts were properly cleaned and dressed, and I returned the kit to its place in the closet. Then, I changed into my pajamas and ran the brush through my hair. The feel of the bristles on my scalp had always been soothing to me, ever since I'd been a little girl.  
  
I brushed and brushed until I felt sleepy. Setting the brush down, I pulled my pajamas on, turned out the light, and crawled into bed. After tossing and turning a while, I finally found a comfortable position and quickly fell asleep.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Sunday. Laundry day. Great. Groaning softly, I opened one eye, hoping to see that it was still dark and I could go back to sleep. I should be so lucky. Sunlight streamed in through the open blinds. I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes, then set my feet on the cold tile floor. Shivering a little, I padded over to the dresser that Julia and I shared, opened a drawer, and grabbed a pair of socks. I put them on and sighed happily, the floor no longer able to threaten me with frostbite.  
  
Julia lay on her bed, one foot dangling off the side of the mattress. I quietly gathered up my laundry materials, tossed them in the basket with my dirty clothes, and grabbed my library book. I picked up the laundry basket and headed downstairs to the laundry room. A few of the machines whirred, but no one else was in the room. I sorted my clothes into piles of whites and darks and dropped them into two separate washers. When I was done with that, I picked up my book and took a seat on top of one of the active dryers. It was warm on my butt, and I crossed my legs Indian-style to let my feet share the warmth.  
  
I was halfway through chapter three when my peripheral vision caught someone else coming into the room. I kept my nose buried in my book until I realized that the person had come to stand right in front of me. I looked up and met a familiar pair of dark eyes.  
  
"Damn, this is what your roommate has to see first thing every morning?" he asked, grinning. "You must have teased that hair, 'cause there's no way that's just natural morning frizz."  
  
"Good morning to you, too, Jin," I said, scowling a little. "Did you come down here for a reason, or did you just hunt me down to tell me I'm ugly?"  
  
"Actually, my clothes are in your chair. And I did not say you're ugly." He bent and opened the dryer beneath me, which I now realized had already stopped. I marked my page with one finger and watched with mild interest as he began to pull his clothes from the dryer and neatly fold them. The metal of the machine quickly cooled, and when I saw him remove a big sweatshirt from the dryer, I snatched it out of his hands. "Hey!" he cred, but he smiled. I rubbed my face against the warm, warm fabric and moaned. I slipped it over my head and pushed my arms through the sleeves. "Okay," he said, "you can borrow it." He shook his head just a little, then went back to folding clothes. I wrapped my arms around my shoulders, hoping to hold the heat in the sweatshirt as long as possible. Jin smiled at me, but he said nothing more as he continued to fold his clothes.  
  
"Most guys just throw it haphazardly in the basket," I commented.  
  
"Yeah, well, my mother drilled it into my head that I should always fold it right away so it doesn't get all wrinkled. If it got wrinkled, I'd have to use the iron... and I have no idea how to use that thing." I chuckled and opened my book again. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jin lift his laundry basket onto a dryer. Then he hopped up onto the dryer next to mine. "So, what're you reading?"  
  
"Shanghai Baby," I replied. I slipped a K-Mart receipt, my makeshift bookmark, into the book and handed it to him. He read the summary on the back cover and nodded.  
  
"Sounds interesting." He gave the book back to me. "Did you ever live in China?" he asked, folding his arms in his lap.  
  
"Only when I was very little. My family moved to the United States when I was three." I squinted at her hands, inspecting my chipped green nail polish. The conversation awkwardly died there, and I started to pick at a hangnail.  
  
"So..." he said, the wheels in his head turning visibly. "What's your major?"  
  
"I'm double-majoring. English and Chinese." He whistled in response.  
  
"A double language major? Wow. I'm impressed."  
  
"Yeah. I want to be a writer someday."  
  
"That's awesome. I'll bet you're great at it." His eyes darted around the room before returning to me. "I'm a business major. I know, it's boring."  
  
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being a business major."  
  
"I guess not. After I finish school, I'll probably end up working at my dad's company, and then take over after he retires. Just like he did after my grandpa retired."  
  
"That's cool. And at least you've got guaranteed job placement, eh?" He smiled a little. "Me, I'll probably end up as one of those starving artists. I'll panhandle on the streets of New York just to make payments on my car. You know, the one that doubles as a mobile home. Except it'll probably be, like, a Geo Metro or something." He laughed.  
  
"Nah. I'll bet you've got something published before you graduate."  
  
"You've never even read anything of mine."  
  
"I'd like to." He glanced up at me from under his bangs. He looked so shy and innocent. I wanted to reach out and brush his hair away from his face, to touch his skin, even to kiss him...  
  
What the hell was I thinking? Kiss him? And kiss him romantically? No, no, no way in hell! My head started spinning. Was I really feeling attraction? Actual attraction on an intellectual level? No, that couldn't be. Two scenes played out in my head. In one, Jin graciously accepted my kiss, wrapping me in his arms and swallowing me whole. In the other, the second I made a move to touch him, he ran screaming from the laundry room, too disgusted to even grab his basket on the way out. I squinched my eyes shut and pressed my fists to my temples.  
  
"You okay?" I heard him ask. I couldn't answer. My forehead felt like it might crack open if I didn't relax the muscles, but I just couldn't. My body began to rock on its own, and my stomach was going for the gold in gymnastics. The idea of him kissing me back was fading into total oblivion while the thought of him bolting melted together with every other rejection from my past, real and imagined, romantic and non. They all pooled together, rising deeper and deeper until they filled my lungs and I couldn't breathe. I gasped for air, but all I could feel was the burning emptiness.  
  
"Xiao?" he asked, his tone more urgent. I felt tears on my cheeks, and the fact that they were there in the first place just made me cry harder. Crying... hadn't I outgrown that ages ago? Hadn't I learned to accept this solitary life I'm doomed to live? Why did I torture myself like this? Where was this masochistic ghost inside my head, and how could I kill her?  
  
The feel of hands on my upper arms was almost enough to make me leap out of my own skin. My eyes flew wide, and I saw Jin's face, alarmed and concerned. Alarmed... concerned? No... the poor, poor boy. What was he doing? Couldn't he see I was a lost cause? Hell, all that talk about panhandling, that was wishful thinking. Wishing that I actually made it past graduation.  
  
My mouth opened and closed like that of a fish, but my vocal chords wouldn't budge. Finally, my face contorted and a wail escaped my lips. For a moment, I pictured myself with the twisted head of a monster, and I bit off Jin's head, savouring the sweet yet slightly salty taste of his raw flesh. Where the hell did that come from? Little footsteps echoed inside my skull. The scary people were working my brain again.  
  
I screamed. 


	4. Slipknot and Dinner

Jin held tight to the trembling girl in his arms as he hurried from the elevator to his dorm room. He managed to get the door open without dropping her and rushed inside. He laid her gently on his bed and knelt on the floor beside her. Her eyes stared into space, and her pupils were dilated. He had absolutely no idea what to do for her. Was she having a seizure? An allergic reaction?  
  
Just when he was about to go find a residential advisor, her eyes focused on his face. She stared at him blankly for a moment before a look of complete horror crossed her face. "Oh my god," she whispered. She sat upright and looked around. "What the fuck?"  
  
"It's okay," he said, rising to his feet. "I brought you to my room. You're okay now."  
  
"Okay?! What the fuck did you do to me?"  
  
"What? I didn't do anything! You're the one who just started freaking out downstairs. I didn't know what to do, so I brought you up here." She stared at him for a long time before the fire in her eyes died down.  
  
"Thank you," she whispered. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.  
  
"What happened down there?" he asked, sitting on the bed beside her.  
  
"Panic attack," she replied simply. "I have panic disorder. Kicks in at weird times."  
  
"Oh." He watched her face, but she would not look at him. "Are you on any meds for it?"  
  
"Yeah." She neglected to mention that she had not taken her prescription in two weeks. She hated being on medication. She hated having to keep her behaviour socially acceptable. She hated herself for being cursed.  
  
"Um..." Jin said hesitantly, "you wanna hang out here for a little bit?" She glanced up at him, and that same shy look was on his face. "I can go get your laundry and bring it up for you if you want."  
  
"It's still in the washer."  
  
"I'll go check on it." Before she could protest, he was on his feet and out the door. She sat there on his bed wondering what had just happened. She had had a panic attack, and he had actually stayed with her through it. In fact, he was even still being nice to her. Perhaps he was afraid of her, thought she was dangerous. Maybe as soon as he calmed her down and sent her away, she would never see him again. That would certainly not surprise her.  
  
Xiaoyu looked around the room. It was a single room, and she wondered why he did not have a roommate. The walls, rather than being plastered with posters of half-naked, surgically enhanced women, held only a dry erase calendar and several pictures pulled out of magazines, mostly of wild animals and nature scenes. She stood up and walked over to his desk. He had a nice computer, several books, a few CD's, and a framed photograph of a woman. Xiaoyu guessed that the woman was Jin's mother; she looked just like him. She read over the titles on the CD cases. Slipknot, Disturbed, Cold, System of a Down, Godsmack. She was surprised; he did not seem like the angsty metal type.  
  
The door opened, and Jin walked back into the room. "Feeling better?" he asked cheerfully. She gave him a small smile and nod. "They're in the dryer now. I, uh, I figured out which washer was yours because your panda sweatshirt was in it."  
  
"Here, let me pay you back." She reached for the change in her pocket, but he held up his hand.  
  
"Don't worry about it, it's just fifty cents." He crossed the room and took a seat on his bed. He fidgeted with his hands, obviously unsure of what to say.  
  
"You know," Xiaoyu said, "you don't have to be nice to me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You don't have to be all nice to me just because I'm a freak."  
  
"Who said that's why I'm being nice to you?" He blinked hard, realizing the implication of his words. "I mean, you're not a freak. And if you are, well, maybe I like you that way." His cheeks puffed out; he obviously had no connection between his brain and his mouth at the moment. Xiaoyu couldn't help but grin. His cute uneasiness motivated her to change the subject.  
  
"Is this your mother?" she asked, sitting at the desk and picking up the photo frame.  
  
"Yes," he replied.  
  
"She's very beautiful."  
  
"Yes, she was." Xiaoyu returned the photo to its place and looked up at him.  
  
"Was?" He nodded, his eyes not meeting hers.  
  
"She... passed away several years ago."  
  
"Oh... I'm sorry. May I... may I ask what happened?"  
  
"Our house caught fire," he replied softly. "I got out, but she didn't. After that, I went to live with my dad and my grandpa." He smirked a little. "Worst four years of my life, really." He shook his head and smiled slightly at her. "But that's all in the past. Best not to dwell on it, right?"  
  
"Right," she said quietly. She stared at the floor, trying to think of something, anything to say that could change the subject to something less awkward. They sat there in a long silence. "Maybe I should go," she said finally.  
  
"Oh," he replied, "okay. I mean, you could stay here if you want to. But if you don't want to... well, I mean... okay." He pursed his lips as he watched her stand.  
  
"Thank you for helping me," she said as she turned the doorknob.  
  
"Xiao," he called. She turned, and he asked, "Um, are you gonna be in class tomorrow?"  
  
"We'll see," she told him as she left the room.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Hwoarang gulped down the entire contents of his water bottle, then refilled it from the fountain. "Kazama," he gasped, wiping his mouth, "you doin' okay?" Jin looked up from his post-workout stretches.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"  
  
"You just seem kinda, well, not all there today. Like you've got something big on your mind."  
  
"No, nothing big."  
  
"Something small, then?"  
  
"You could say that."  
  
"Oh, do tell." Hwoarang sat on the steel bench closest to Jin and watched him as he silently continued his stretches. "Come on, bro. I wanna help if I can."  
  
"It's nothing. Just girl stuff."  
  
"Girl stuff?" Hwoarang's mouth curved into a smile. "Got a crush, huh?"  
  
"Yeah. You know that cute Chinese girl, Xiaoyu, who lives down at the end of the hall? Over near the stairs?"  
  
"Sure, she's hot. She was at that party you refused to go to, you know."  
  
"Really?" Jin stopped stretching and stared at his friend. "She doesn't seem like the party type."  
  
"From what I saw, she's a pretty damn freaky dancer. She ended up disappearing with some blonde frat guy fairly early in the night." Jin's heart sank. A frat boy? If she liked those types, she would never go for him. He tried not to think about how much he wanted to go bash that guy's head in. "Hey, man" Hwoarang said, "cool down. I never said don't go for it. It could happen. I just don't want you to get your hopes up too high, just in case."  
  
"Go for it?" Jin scoffed. "Why should I bother?"  
  
"Well, I could tell she was drunk. Maybe that's the only reason she left with him. Hell, maybe he just showed her to the bathroom so she could bow to the porcelain god. Who knows? And come on, you'll never know if you don't give it a shot." Jin shrugged. "Don't be a pussy, man. You'll never know if you don't try. I'm going back to the dorm to shower. Meet you around six for dinner?"  
  
"Yeah." Jin watched Hwoarang leave the athletic center, then sighed. He hated when his friend was right. Unfortunately, this was yet another of those instances. He stood and decided to ask her to dinner some night that week. As he left the gym and walked back toward his dorm, he chewed on the fingernails of his left hand, hoping he had the courage to actually go through with it.  
  
* * * * *  
  
Xiaoyu turned off the water, wrung out her hair, and stepped out of the shower. She dried off and wrapped the towel around herself before opening the bathroom door and walking into her room. Julia still was not back from hanging out with Christie. Xiaoyu had been invited to come along, but she had politely declined, stating truthfully that she would prefer to take a nice, long, hot shower. It was the closest thing to a bath that her dorm room could offer.  
  
She opened a drawer and selected clean underclothes and socks, then pulled a pair of bright red jeans and a black tank top from her side of the closet. She dressed quickly and glanced at the clock. It was nearly six o'clock in the evening, so she grabbed her keychain and left her room. As usual, she headed downstairs to the dining hall alone. The lady swiped her card at the door, and she picked up a tray and approached the long lines. From what she could see, nothing looked terribly appetizing. She blew a damp strand of hair out of her eyes and leaned her tray against her hip.  
  
"Hey," someone said behind her. She glanced over her shoulder to see a somewhat familiar face, a boy from her floor whom she vaguely recognized. "Xiaoyu, right?"  
  
"Yeah... I'm sorry, I'm horrible with names."  
  
"It's okay. I'm Hwoarang."  
  
"Hwoarang, right. How's it going?"  
  
"I'm breathin', aren't I?" He smiled. "How about you?"  
  
"Breathin', too," she replied. The line ahead of them was steadily shrinking, and they slowly advanced toward the cafeteria slop.  
  
"You sitting with anyone?" he asked, tossing his head to shake a few loose strands of red hair out of his face.  
  
"No." She tapped her fingers on her tray, anxious to get something to eat and sit down before all the small tables were taken.  
  
"Sit with us," he offered.  
  
"Who is 'us?'"  
  
"Me and Jin. You know him, right?"  
  
"Yeah, I have a class with him." She thought it over for a minute and decided it would not hurt to have some company for her meal. "All right," she told him. Finally reaching the food counter, she pointed to what bore a vague resemblance to jambalaya. A short, elderly lady scooped some onto a plate for her, and Xiaoyu thanked her and stepped aside. Hwoarang helped himself to a plate, along with overcooked tater tots and undercooked mixed vegetables. He turned to Xiaoyu and pointed across the room with his chin.  
  
"C'mon," he said, "Jin's already got a seat." She saw Jin's spiky hair and nodded.  
  
"I'm gonna go get some milk," she told him. "I'll meet you over there." She went to the beverage stand and filled her glass halfway with two-percent milk before the dispenser ran dry. With a sigh, she set the glass on her tray and joined the boys at their table. "Hey," she mumbled, glancing up at them for a split second before dropping her gaze to her food.  
  
"H-hey, Xiao," Jin sputtered. "Are you feeling better?"  
  
"Yeah, mostly." She stuck some rice in her mouth and bobbed her head back and forth, noting that it was not so bad.  
  
"So where's your boyfriend?" Hwoarang inquired. She snorted in response. "What? I was just asking."  
  
"Me, with a boyfriend? That's a joke." She bit into a piece of sausage, and it did not live up to the taste of the rice.  
  
"Why shouldn't a pretty girl like you have a boyfriend?" A small commotion took place under the table, and Xiaoyu froze with her fork halfway to her mouth. She looked from Hwoarang's smirk to Jin's wide eyes, back to the smirk, to the eyes, and finally to the smirk again.  
  
"Is that some kind of joke?" she asked, struggling to keep her lips from quivering. Hwoarang quickly reached across the table and took her free hand in his.  
  
"No, no, no. I'm serious. Hey, what are you doing Saturday night?"  
  
"Um... I don't... I don't know. Probably reading, or something."  
  
"A bunch of us are gonna be chillin' at the Days Inn over on State Street. Just kind of a get together, get drunk kind of thing. You wanna come?" She blinked; no one had ever actually invited her to a party before. Not since grade school, anyway. "Come on," he insisted. "It'll be a blast."  
  
"A blast?" Jin interjected. "What are you, stuck in the eighties?" Xiaoyu grinned, and Hwoarang squeezed her hand before letting go and slouching back in his seat.  
  
"There's a smile," he said. "So, will you come?"  
  
"I'll be there," Jin blurted out. "I mean, so there will be a familiar face there. Besides Hwoarang, I mean. And if you don't like it, we could always go somewhere else, I'm not much of a party guy. But we can stay if you do like it." He opened his mouth to continue speaking but quickly closed it again. Xiaoyu looked at his flushed face and burst out laughing, which caused his cheeks to turn even more pink.  
  
"Sure," she said between giggles, "I'll go." 


	5. Captain's Influence

Sorry, everybody. That last chapter sucked. I scrapped it. Here's a better Chapter Five; it's actually the one I originally wrote, I'd just lost the notebook it was in and wanted to get something put up. This is a lot better, I promise. Oh, and enjoy the Buffy reference.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Wanna go to a Hump Day party tonight?" Julia asked the second Xiaoyu walked in the door.

"Hump Day?" Xiaoyu closed the door and hung her jacket on the knob. "What the hell is Hump Day?"

"Wednesday. You've never heard it called that?" Xiaoyu shook her head and crossed the room to sit on her bed. "Like, picture a week as a hill you have to get over. Wednesday's right in the middle, so it's like the hump you have to get over. After Wednesday, it's all downhill to the weekend." Julia shook her head. "I can't believe you've never heard that before."

"So I guess it's really just an excuse to have a party in the middle of the week, huh?"

"If that's how you want to look at it. I don't have class till eleven tomorrow, I could totally go. Christie and Forest both have early classes, though, so if you don't go with me, I might as well just stay here. But I know you don't have class till noon on Thursdays." This was true; Xiaoyu had been lucky enough to have only one class on Thursdays. She actually planned to go this week, too-- she had not missed a class so far this week.

"If Forest can't go, how are we going to get alcohol?" Xiaoyu asked.

"Oh, he'll go buy it for us, he just won't go to the party."

"All right, I guess I'll go." She reached into her middle drawer, retrieved her wallet, and pulled out a twenty. She handed the bill to her roommate. "Have him get me a bottle of Captain. The biggest he can find for under twenty. He can keep the change."

"What, no beer, no wine coolers?" Xiaoyu shook her head. "No soda? No chasers at all? Girl, you are hardcore."

"Nah, I'm just pathetic." Xiaoyu grinned and stretched out on her back. "I don't know how you go to all these parties and still get straight A's. What's your secret?"

"Deep down inside, I'm really a total geek." She giggled and, probably without even thinking about it, pushed her glasses up on her nose. "I guess partying is my way of breaking out of the stereotype I was stuck in in high school. The kids used to call me Julia Schoolia." Xiaoyu laughed out loud. She could picture a young Julia getting bombarded with kamikaze paper airplane attacks.

"At least people paid attention to you. Hardly anyone even knew who I was in high school. I was constantly getting run over by football players in the hallways because no one ever noticed me."

"I think I would have preferred that," Julia chuckled. "But yeah, ol' Schoolia's going to the library to do some research before we go out. I'll stop by Forest's dorm on the way there."

"Sounds like a plan. If I'm asleep when you get back, just throw things at me till I wake up, okay?"

"Will do. See you later." Julia slung her backpack over her shoulder and left, closing the door quietly behind her. Xiaoyu picked her library book up off her desk and opened it to the page she had left off on.

- - - - - - - - - -

"Come on," Hwoarang insisted. "It'll do you good to relax for once."

"I can't," Jin protested. "I've got a huge psych test at eight in the morning. I have to study and get some sleep." He pinched the bridge of his nose with the hand that wasn't holding the phone. "Isn't it enough that I'm going to that hotel thing this weekend?"

"But what if she's there tonight?"

"Then I hope she has fun. I'm serious, I can't screw up this test."

"Bah. What do you need psychology for, anyway? You're a business major."

"At least I've got a major picked out," Jin snapped. Hwoarang was silent for a moment before responding.

"That hurt, man. That hurt deep."

"I'm sorry," Jin sighed. "I didn't mean it that way. It's just that I've got so much pressure to get perfect grades. If I screw up, my dad will flip out, and that's something I really want to avoid. You know?"

"Yeah. Fine, stay here and study. If I see your pretty woman there tonight, I'll pump her for information."

"I hope that's all you plan to pump her for."

"Hey, man, she ain't taken yet!" Jin scowled, and although Hwoarang could not possibly see his face, he added, "Oh, come on. I'm just fuckin' around. All I plan to do is slip a few questions into the conversation. See what she thinks of you. I'm smooth, man. I can do it. No worries, okay?"

"Okay. But if it's bad stuff, don't tell me, all right? Just say she wasn't even there."

"Lighten the fuck up, bro. Go hump your textbook for a bit. I'll see you 'round lunchtime tomorrow."

"Sounds good. See you then."

"See /you/ then, stud." Rolling his eyes, Jin pressed the phone's off button and returned the device to its cradle. He yawned and leaned back in his chair. He knew he needed to study, but the only thing he could think about way Xiaoyu.

He wondered what her lips would taste like. How big her nipples were, whether they were dark or light. Whether she kept her pubic hair neatly trimmed or shaved it completely off. What her moans of passion sounded like.

He threw his pen across the room. There was no way he could accomplish any studying with his mind in Xiaoyu's pants. Closing his eyes, he unzipped his own pants and slid a hand beneath the fabric of his boxers.

- - - - - - - - - -

The party was at some guy's apartment. Xiaoyu doubted that half the people who had shown up had any idea who he was; she certainly did not. It amazed her that the neighbours would not complain about the noise-- the music was not unbearably loud, but it was loud enough to be heard over the voices of the wall-to-wall partygoers. Julia had disappeared somewhere into the crowd, leaving Xiaoyu and her bottle of Captain Morgan to fend for themselves. She took a swig of her drink, barely even wincing at the familiar flavour.

The stereo blasted out some death metal she had never heard before. She hoped she would never hear it again.Another sip of her drink made the music a little more tolerable. She wobbled a bit before taking a few steps backward to lean against the wall. Her eyes slid closed, and she wondered why she had agreed to go to the party at all. Julia would have run off to drink and dance with strangers whether she had gone alone or not, and Xiaoyu could have been curled up in her bed finishing her book.

"Why aren't you dancing?" She turned toward the voice and was surprised to see Hwoarang, beer in hand, grinning at her.

"Nobody to dance with."

"What? There's hella people here."

"Yeah, but none of them want to dance with me."

"How do you know?"

"Haven't asked me."

"Oh, so you're one of /those/ girls." He drained the rest of his beer and set the empty bottle on an end table.

"One of what girls?"

"Old-fashioned. Now get over here and dance with me." Before she could protest, he grabbed her hand and pulled her into the swarm of people. The sheer volume of bodies kept her pressed tight against him. One of his arms wrapped protectively around her to keep her from getting sucked further into the crowd.

"So where's Jin?" she inquired.

"He's got a test in the morning. You like Jin, huh?"

"He's a sweet kid," she admitted, "but I couldn't be with a guy like that."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I'd break his heard." She gulped down some more rum and shook her head. "I'm not a good girlfriend."

"Why not?" She pushed herself up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Hwoarang's lips.

"See? I just kissed his best friend. I'm horrible."

"You're just making excuses. That wasn't a kiss. That--" She kissed him again, slipping her tongue into his mouth. To her surprise, he did not push her away; instead, he slid his other arm around her and kissed her back. The strong taste of beer on his mouth told her that he had had more to drink than she would have guessed. The fluid motion of his lips over hers made her legs tingle.

When the two parted, each could only stare dumbly at the other. "I told you," she insisted weakly. "Let's go somewhere quieter." He nodded, and they worked their way along the wall to a doorway. Xiaoyu put an ear to the door, and over the noise of the party she could hear squeaks and moans. "Not this one," she said, pulling him to the next door, which was slightly ajar. She pushed it open and flipped the light switch. "How about the bathroom?"

"As good as anywhere else." He followed her in, closing and locking the door behind him. "You know," he said, "Jin's got it really bad for you." He barely got the sentence out before Xiaoyu flipped the toilet lid down and pushed him into a sitting position on it. She straddled his lap, grabbed a fistful of his hair, and leaned close to his ear.

"I don't want to talk about Jin right now," she whispered.

"Oh... I thought that was why we came in here." She protested by sucking his earlobe between her teeth. He opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a low moan. She stroked her tongue over the sensitive skin behind his ear, and he shuddered.

The doorknob rattled, and a knock came to the door. Hwoarang ignored the sound and pulled Xiaoyu's face to his, engulfing her lips in a deep kiss. His hands slowly wandered from her cheeks to her neck, then to her shoulders...

"Hurry the fuck up," a deep voice yelled from beyond the locked door. "I gotta take a piss!"

"Piss off the balcony," Hwoarang called, barely breaking lip contact. One last pound on the door and the distraction was gone. His hands crept down her body, coming to rest on her behind, and he pulled her pelvis tighter against his. A soft purr sounded in her throat, and her back arched involuntarily. He leaned toward her and brushed his lips across her neck, just over her jugular vein. Her whole body shivered, and he took this as a cue to tickle that same spot with his tongue. She realized her fingernails were digging into his shoulders, but he didn't seem to care. He kissed her neck, her collarbone, and, after pushing the fabric of her T-shirt aside, her shoulder.

She managed to pull her claws away from him and slide her hands down his chest. They came to rest on his belt, and she started to unbuckle. To her surprise, though, he caught her and looked at her with hazy eyes. "No," he said gently. "I don't sleep with drunk girls."

"What do you mean?" she demanded, her passion immediately turning to anger. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"No, no, no. It's just, we're both really drunk, and I don't--"

"So you think I'm just some kind of alcoholic slut?"

"I didn't say that!"

"You might as well have!" She stumbled to her feet and straightened her shirt. "I'm not good enough for you. Fine!"

"Xiao!" He shot to his feet but instantly felt dizzy and had to sit back down. "Xiao, don't take it that way."

"Fuck you!" She turned the doorknob and pulled as hard as she could, but the door refused to open. With a whimper, she yanked on it some more, but still no luck.

She felt him come up close behind her and froze. One of his arms snaked around from behind her and reached toward the doorknob. His hand turned the lock, then the knob, and the door cracked open. She sheepishly squirmed out the door. Behind her, he said something, but she ignored him and bolted into the crowd of people. 


	6. Alcoholic Slut

As soon as I pushed the door open and tossed myself out on the sidewalk, I realized that I'd left my bottle in the apartment. Whatever, it was almost empty anyway. I felt wetness on my face. Of course raining. Why wouldn't it be? Anything to make my night even worse, right?

But it wasn't raining. I was crying. God damn it, I was fucking crying.

I wiped furiously at the tears on my face, but more came to replace them. I collapsed on the curb, buried my face in my hands, and just let the waterworks go. I guessed it didn't really matter, since no one was around to see. A long sob came from my throat, but I didn't figure anyone would be able to hear it over the music still thumping in my ears.

"You're right, you know."

I froze. No, please, not again.

"There is something wrong with you," my own voice taunted from inside my head. "Alcoholic slut? You wish. You just use the alcohol as an excuse. Deep down, you're a slut no matter how much you've had to drink."

Just... make the thoughts... go away...

"You're worthless. You'll never be good enough for a guy like Jin. Maybe you ought to introduce him to Julia. She's perfect, you know. She knows when to stop drinking. She goes to class. She has friends."

"Xiao?"

I shrieked and covered my head with my arms. This time, the voice was coming from outside of my head.

"Xiao, what's wrong?" I felt someone touch me and thought I must really be losing it. When I whirled around to look, I saw that I was not in fact going crazy. Hwoarang had followed me outside, and he sat down next to me. "Talk to me," he insisted. I almost did, but when I opened my mouth, the only thing that came out was a tiny whimper, and I fell against him. He pulled me close to him and let me cry, seeming not to mind that I was soaking his nice shirt. He didn't say anything, just held me and combed his fingers through my hair.

I don't know how long we sat out there. When I finally finished crying, I pulled back and looked up at him. "I think I got makeup all over your shirt," I told him, my voice cracking a little. He just grinned.

"It'll wash out. It's not like you line your eyes with Sharpie. You don't, do you?" I giggled softly. "I, uh, I'm sorry if I said something wrong up there. The words don't always come out right when I've been drinking."

"No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have come on to you like that." My words were still coming out slurred, but my mind was the clearest it had been all night. "I should have figured you wouldn't like me that way."

"Hey now, I never said that. But, like I said, you're drunk. I know girls who've done things with guys when they were drunk that they wouldn't have done if they'd been sober, and I made a promise to myself that I'd never be that kind of guy." I just stared at him. I'd never heard a guy say anything so beautiful. I lunged at him and kissed him on the mouth.

"Whoa," he said, gently pushing me away. "Tell you what. Catch me when you're sober and, if you're still interested, we'll see where things go. For now, let me walk you home."

"I have to stay for Julia. We came together, she doesn't have anyone else to go home with tonight."

"Julia's your roommate, right? The one with the glasses?" I nodded. "Wait here." He stood and disappeared back into the apartment building. I reached into my jeans pocket and pulled out my pack of cigarettes. I lit one and crossed my legs, allowing the nicotine to seep into my veins. I was halfway done with the cigarette when Hwoarang came back out of the building.

"Didn't know you smoked," he commented.

"Fuck," I mumbled. "You won't tell anyone, will you?"

"Why not?" He leaned down to give me a hand up, then put an arm around me to help me walk straight. "You're eighteen, you can smoke if you want." As if to prove a point, he pulled his own pack out and helped himself to a cigarette as well. "You afraid people will think less of you or something?"

"Something like that." He said nothing, and we kept walking, the only sounds our footsteps over dry leaves and our own smoky exhalations. Eventually, we reached the dorm, and he walked me right up to the door.

"You got your ID to get in?" I nodded, reaching into my back pocket and pulled out my student ID card. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. "I'm going back to the party. You be good tonight. And if you still wanna get in my pants when you're sober, well, maybe we'll talk." With a wink and a smile, he let me go, and I let myself into the dorm.

When I got upstairs, I lingered for a moment in front of Jin's door. I thought about knocking, about asking if I could sleep in his room tonight. Reason was seeping back into my mind, though, and I returned to my own room, where I flopped down on my bed and fell asleep fully clothed.

- - - - - - - - - -

When I woke up, my only company was the pounding in my own head. It was half past eleven, and Julia was in class. Letting my eyes wander around the room, I noticed that she had left a sticky note on my computer monitor. I hoisted myself out of bed and squinted to read it.

"Xiao," it read, "I figured I'd let you sleep late today since you got so smashed (that's the last time I take you out during the week, missy!). If you're up by 11:00, come to the dining hall and have lunch with me. I wanna know about your hot friend! Love, Schoolia."

I stumbled into the bathroom and found a bottle of ibuprofen in the medecine cabinet. I shoved my mouth under the faucet and swallowed three pills, then rubbed all the remnants of makeup off my face with a towel. My hair needed to be washed, but I figured I could put it off until after lunch, so I changed into a baggy pair of guy's khakis and my favourite navy blue sweatshirt with the panda face on the front. The oversized clothes threatened to swallow me alive, but I was comfortable, and that was all that mattered.

Deciding not to risk the five flights of stairs, I took the elevator down to the first floor of the dorm and found an empty couch near the entrance to the dining hall. I curled up and tried to keep my eyes open. I was close to nodding off when I spotted Julia pushing one of the big doors open. She waved, and I managed to push myself to my feet without getting dizzy.

"Hey, girl," she said, linking arms with me. "Wow, you look like shit. What happy fun did I miss out on last night?"

"Nothing, really." The bored woman at the counter swiped our cards, and we headed toward the serving lines. "He's just this guy. His name's Hwoarang, he lives on our floor."

"I thought he looked kind of familiar." Julia eyed the long lines and, without pausing, turned toward the salad bar.

"Yeah, he's friends with Jin."

"Oh, I know Jin. He's in my calc class."

"Yeah, he's in my oral communications. Anyway, I ran into Hwoarang at the party, and we talked, and I got really drunk, so he said he'd walk me home."

"You are so lying," she quipped, piling lettuce on her plate. I looked at the lettuce and knew that salad just wasn't going to cut it today.

"Yeah, I know. I'll tell you when we sit down." I went to the relatively short line for pizza and asked the lady with the hairnet for one pepperoni and one sausage. I stopped off at the beverage counter for a glass of Mountain Dew, then joined Julia at a table.

"Spill," she ordered as I set my tray down. I took a sip of my soda and laughed.

"What makes you think something happened?"

"I can tell. And I want details!"

"Okay, so I got really drunk and started making out with him."

"Uh huh, and?"

"And... what the hell kind of dressing is on your salad?" I shoved a huge bite of pizza into my mouth.

"Raspberry vinaigrette. Don't try to change the subject."

"Okay, fine. He asked if I wanted to go somewhere quieter, so we went into the bathroom."

"Ew, I'm not sure I'd trust that bathroom."

"Don't worry, it didn't get that far. I tried to get on him, but he said he doesn't sleep with drunk girls."

"Are you serious?" Julia put a hand on her chest. "That's so sweet!

"Yeah, but I was drunk, so I threw a fit." She laughed. "But he was really cool about it. He offered to walk me home and everything. And he said if I'm still interested when I'm sober, he'd be happy to hook up with me again."

"You so totally rock, Xiao. Are you going to?"

"I don't know. I like him, he's a cool guy--"

"He's a hot guy."

"--and he's really sweet and funny, but I don't know if I like him that way."

"If you don't, seriously, feel free to send him my way. I've always had a weakness for redheads." She giggled and stole a piece of pepperoni off my pizza.

- - - - - - - - - -

An hour later, I was alone in our dorm room again. I should have been in class, but instead I was standing in my bra and panties, staring at my reflection in the mirror. My hair was still wet from my shower, and little droplets of water lay shining on my shoulders and chest.

The only thing that kept me from reaching out and smashing the large mirror on the bathroom door was the fact that it was school property and would probably cost a ridiculous amount of money to fix. I hated what I saw. I had the body of a skinny twelve-year-old boy with a pair of mosquito bites on his chest. My thighs were a mess of tiny cuts and scars. To top it off, I was paler than most white girls-- even Julia had more colour than I did.

I sighed and pulled on the same khakis I'd worn earlier, but this time I chose a red and white striped T-shirt I'd stolen from my little brother when he outgrew it about a year ago. I'd missed my only class of the day, but I could still swing by the library and get some studying done. I pulled on my socks and boots, grabbed my jacket and backpack, and headed out the door. 


	7. A Movie Date

A/N: I have a cameo in my own story. I'm either a genius or a loser. Anyway, this chapter's a little heavy on the dialogue, but that's okay. Enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - -

By the time Friday evening rolled around, Xiaoyu was exhausted. She wondered how everyone else managed to make it to their classes and do all their homework without dying by Thursday. Her brain just wanted to shut down for a week... or a month.

The week must have been hard on Julia, too, because she hadn't made any plans for the night. Xiaoyu knew full well that a Delta Chi party was going on later, but Julia, sitting at her computer in her pajamas, seemed to have little intention of going.

Xiaoyu looked up from her book. "What're you doing?"

"Chatting," Julia replied.

"Anyone I know?"

"Christie and my mom."

"Wow, your mom chats?"

"Yeah. My mom's awesome." She paused to type something. "She says hi."

"Hi, Julia's mom." Xiaoyu turned her attention back to my book.

"She says you should come with me next time I go home to visit."

"Maybe I will." There was a knock at the door, and Julia called, "It's open." The door opened, and Hwoarang poked his head in.

"Hey, Xiao," he said. "What're you doing tonight?"

"Probably just laying here reading."

"On a Friday? No way. Come on, let's go do something, you and me."

"Come on, it's been a rough week."

"So I'll help you relax." Julia coughed, then quickly took a drink of her diet cola and pounded her chest with her first.

"Sorry," she muttered, suppressing a grin. "Go ahead, Xiao. I think I'm gonna watch The Golden Girls and then go to bed."

"Okay, okay," Xiaoyu said, setting her bookmark in place. She rolled to a sitting position and stepped into her sneakers. Throwing her panda sweatshirt on, she grabbed her keys and wallet and headed toward the door.

"Have fun!" Julia called over her shoulder with a conspicuous wink.

"Yeah, later." Xiaoyu closed the door behind her and followed Hwoarang down the stairs. "So, where are we going?"

"I dunno. I figured we'd drive around till we decide on something."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

- - - - - - - - - -

Christie set down her PlayStation controller and picked up the telephone. "Hello?"

"Guess who has a date!" Julia chirped through the phone line.

"You?"

"Ha, I should be so lucky. Xiao has a date!"

"Xiao has a date?"

"Yeah, no kidding. Remember the hottie from the party I told you about?"

"The one who walked her home?"

"Yeah, that guy. He just came by tonight and basically said, 'Get up, you're coming with me, and I'll help you relax from your rough week.'"

"Wow. That's pretty blunt."

"No kidding. But I'm happy for her. Maybe now she'll cheer up once in a while."

"God, I hope so."

- - - - - - - - - -

"What do you want to see?" Hwoarang asked, rocking back and forth on his feet as they stood in line at the box office.

"I don't know," Xiaoyu replied, reading the titles on the marquee. "Hell, I don't even know what half these movies are about."

"How about that Bruce Willis one? I heard it got pretty good reviews."

"Lots of shit get blown up?"

"Probably. It's a Bruce Willis movie."

"Then it's fine by me." Hwoarang laughed and put his arm around Xiaoyu.

"Ah, there's something about a girl who likes explosions," he mumbled in her ear. She giggled, a little unsure how to react to the sudden physical contact. He dropped a quick kiss on her ear, then pulled away from her, leaving her stunned. She smiled nervously at him, and he chuckled. "Something wrong?"

"No. I'm just not used to that kind of treatment. Not from sober guys, anyway."

"Oh, really?" He shook his head. "That's sad, because you deserve it."

"How can you say that? You barely know me."

"True. But I make friends fast." He gave her a lopsided grin that she couldn't help but return.

- - - - - - - - - -

Jin lay on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. His stereo was playing one of his many mix CD's as loudly as it could without disturbing neighbouring students. In his mind, he cursed himself over and over again. Of course he hadn't asked Xiaoyu out like he'd told himself he would. He always chickened out when it came to girls.

His computer chirped at him, and he sat up to look at the screen. An instant message was waiting on his screen. He heaved himself from his bed to his desk chair and saw that the message was from his younger cousin, Asuka. He typed back to her, and they briefly caught up on each other's lives.

After a few minutes, though, he took a deep breath and typed, "Sukie, I need some advice."

"wat kinda advice?" she replied.

"Girl advice."

"ooo u have a gf and u didnt tell me?"

"She's not my girlfriend. But I'd like it if she was."

"did u ask her out?"

"Well... no."

"so ask her out stupid duh!"

"But I don't know how."

"wat do u mean u dont know how?"

"I don't know what to say to her. I just freeze up."

"when r u gonna see her again?"

"We're both going to a party tomorrow night."

"ooo u guys gonna get drunk?"

"Yeah, there'll be alcohol there." He pressed enter with his eyes closed, waiting for the lecture about underage alcohol consumption. Fortunately for him, it never came.

"dont do nething w/ her if shes drunk," was all Asuka typed.

"What do you mean?"

"dont try to kiss her if shes drunk. thats trashy."

"What if she kisses me first?" He shook his head, wondering why he had even considered the possibility. He knew Xiaoyu would never try to kiss him.

"tell her u respect her 2 much 2 take advantage of her."

"I don't know why I asked about that. It's probably not even going to happen. But thanks for the advice."

"no prob cuz. gtg, luv ya!"

- - - - - - - - - -

"Stop being so agreeable!" Hwoarang scolded, poking Xiaoyu playfully in the ribs.

"What? I'm really not picky!" She folded her arms across her chest, giving him an exaggerated pout.

"Just chill out. You don't have to try to impress me with some 'whatever you want, honey' attitude."

"You already paid for my ticket, you don't have to buy me snacks, too."

"But I want to. It was my idea to come out tonight."

"I'm not going to be able to talk you out of this, am I?"

"Not a chance."

"Okay, fine." She quickly read over the menu board, since there were only two people ahead of them in line. "Twizzlers and a cherry slushie?"

"What, no popcorn? Nachos? Hot dog?"

"If you get popcorn, I'll be happy to share it with you."

"Works for me." The people in front of them got their order and left, and they approached the concession counter.

"Hi there. What can I get for you two tonight?" asked the bored-looking blonde girl behind the counter. Hwoarang placed their order and gave in to a bit of suggestive selling. The girl punched their order into her register, repeated it back to them, and said, "Okay, that comes to twenty-two dollars altogether," before rushing off to retrieve the items they'd requested.

"Twenty-two dollars!" Xiaoyu repeated, shocked. "Dude, I don't need the Twizzlers if it's going to be that much."

"I thought I told you to stop worrying so much," Hwoarang said, tousling her hair. "Don't worry. It's not that much. And besides, we saved fifty cents with that combo deal." Xiaoyu rolled her eyes, but she kept her mouth shut. The girl behind the counter came back with their popcorn.

"Would you like a tray?" she asked as she put lids on their drinks.

"No, thanks," Hwoarang said, "I think we can handle it." She placed their popcorn, drinks, and candies on the counter, and Hwoarang handed her his credit card. He signed it, and she handed the receipt to him.

"Thanks so much," she said, "and you two enjoy your show!"

Xiaoyu picked up her Twizzlers and slushie while Hwoarang juggled his large soda, large popcorn, and bag of M&M's. "I can help carry something," Xiaoyu offered.

"Nah, I've got it. Which way are we going again?"

"Hwoarang?" a voice rang through the crowd. The voice belonged to a very pretty brunette who was walking toward them. "Fancy seeing you here! How are you, honey?"

"Just great," he replied. "Xiao, this is Anna. Anna, meet my friend Xiaoyu."

"An honour," she said, winking at Xiaoyu. "What are you two here to see?"

"That Bruce Willis one," Hwoarang told her.

"Oh, no, are you serious?" She shook her head. "Such a waste of time. No character development whatsoever."

"Yeah, but shit gets blown up, right?"

"You're such a guy," Anna scoffed. "Why don't you two come by my place after your show?"

"We might. You'll be up late?"

"Of course, darling. I'm always up late. Anyway, I'm off like a prom dress."

"It was nice to meet you," Xiaoyu piped up.

"The pleasure was all mine. Ciao." Xiaoyu watched her walk away, noting how well her red spaghetti strap top accentuated the curves Xiaoyu wished existed on her own body.

"Come on," Hwoarang said, "our movie's gonna start without us. He said it's in number seven, right?"

"Yeah. So, who exactly was she?"

"A friend from my literature class. She's a theatre major, I guess that's why she's so flamboyant."

"She seemed awfully happy to see you. Is she into you or something?"

"No way." He laughed, trying to open the auditorium door with his hands full. "I think she'd be way more into you than me."

"Oh." Xiaoyu reached past him and opened the door, and they slipped into the dark auditorium while the previews ran on the screen. 


	8. The Dark Side

A/N: Yes, I was the popcorn girl in the last chapter. If you can help it, don't work at a movie theatre.. after about two years, it'll start to affect your brain. So, yeah. The songs that the kids listen to at Anna's apartment in this chapter are "All Is Full of Love" by Bjork and "Glory Box" by Portishead. I figured they fit the setting. This chapter kind of seems like it doesn't quite fit, but trust me, I'm going somewhere with all this. Anyway, enjoy!

- - - - - - - - - -

"Wow," Hwoarang said as the credits started to roll. "Anna was right. This was kind of a waste of time."

"It wasn't that bad," Xiaoyu said, pulling a few popcorn kernels out of the bottom of the bag. "I mean, really. Who comes to an action movie expecting a deep and moving plot?"

"Point taken." He stood up and stretched. Xiaoyu watched him, trying to hide her utter confusion. During the movie, he had barely touched her. She had hoped he would hold her hand or put his arm around her or something, but the most contact that they shared was when both of their arms were on the same armrest. If he didn't enjoy the movie, why didn't he use her as a distraction?

"Come on," he said, offering her a hand up. She accepted, stuffing her half-full bag of Twizzlers in her hoodie pocket. "You wanna go hang out at Anna's for a little while?"

"Sure. I don't have anything better to do." He kept a protective hand on her back as they made their way down the stairs and out of the dark auditorium, but once they hit the bright lobby, he shoved his hands in his pockets. Despite the implication he had made about her earlier, she couldn't help but wonder if anything was going on between him and Anna. He had been acting differently ever since they'd spoken to her.

She kept her mouth shut, though, and they were both quiet as they walked through the parking lot. They climbed into Hwoarang's old Chevy pickup, and he started the engine. "I'm gonna warn you in advance," he said, "Anna's a little... unconventional."

"Unconventional how?"

"Just don't be surprised by... anything, really." He pulled out of the parking lot and turned onto State Street.

- - - - - - - - - -

Anna's apartment was in the same building where the Hump Day Party had been held, but two stories up. Hwoarang knocked softly, then louder. Xiaoyu could hear the sound of a chain unlatching, and the door swung open. "Welcome!" Anna greeted, gesturing for them to enter with a wide sweep of her arm. Hwoarang bent to let her kiss his cheek as he walked past her into the living room.

The first thing Xiaoyu noticed was the complete lack of real furniture. The entire room was decorated with pillows of varying sizes. In the center of the room sat a small, square table, but the legs had been cut down, so it only stood about six inches high. The only substantial piece of furniture was a huge bookcase, which held a small stereo with two detached speakers and what seemed like hundreds of books, CD's, and DVD's. Candles were scattered throughout the room, illuminating framed movie posters from the thirties. Xiaoyu could smell nag champa burning, but she was unable to locate the source of the scent.

"So," Anna said, closing the door, "how did you kids like the movie?"

"You were right," Hwoarang said, pulling off his shoes and setting them neatly next to the door. Xiaoyu quickly followed his example. "Complete waste of time."

"See? What did I tell you?" She smirked and shoved him as she walked past. "You should know better than to doubt my judgement when it comes to films, darling." She disappeared down the hall, and Hwoarang took a seat on a burgundy pillow with gold tassels.

"Have a seat," he said, gesturing to the overstuffed blue plaid pillow next to him. Xiaoyu tiptoed across the room and gingerly sat on the pillow.

"You weren't kidding," she noted, still taking in her unconventional surroundings.

"There's Fiji in the fridge if you want any," Anna called from down the hall.

"Fiji?" Xiaoyu blinked.

"Bottled water. Anna's weird about water, she only drinks Fiji. I think she even brushes her teeth with it." He shook his head and stood, heading toward the kitchenette. "Want one?"

"No, thank you." He opened the refrigerator, closed it, and returned with two bottles of water.

"I brought you one anyway. Just in case you change your mind."

"Thanks." She picked up the bottle and drew a smiley face in the condensation.

Anna came back into the living room carrying a small wooden box, which she set in the center of the table. She opened it and pulled out a beautifully coloured glass pipe and a little bag of dried plant matter. Xiaoyu's eyes went wide, and she turned to Hwoarang, who didn't look the least bit surprised.

"What?" he asked, taking a swig of his water. "Wait, have you never smoked weed before?" She shook her head. "You don't have to if you don't want to. Shit, I'm sorry. I just kind of assumed you had."

"It's okay." She watched as Anna stuffed the marijuana into the bowl of the pipe. "I've always been kind of curious, actually."

"Music," Anna mumbled. "We need music. Hwoarang, be a dear and turn on the stereo, would you? I've got a mix in." He obeyed, and soft music began to float through the room. He returned to his pillow and moved it a little closer to Xiaoyu's before sitting back down.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Hwoarang asked once more. "'Cause you seriously don't have to. I'm not gonna think any less of you."

"It's okay," Xiaoyu insisted. "I trust you."

"Okay," said Anna, "showtime." She raised the pipe to her lips, flicked a lighter, and inhaled. She held the smoke in as she passed the pipe to Hwoarang, who followed her example and passed it to Xiaoyu. She started to flick the lighter, but Hwoarang, after exhaling his smoke, leaned over and covered her hands with his.

"Works better if you do it this way," he said, positioning her thumb over a tiny hole in the side of the bowl. "Wait till you're inhaling, then let go." She nodded and did as she was told.

"All is full of love," sang Bjork. "It's all around you."

The smoke that filled her lungs was much hotter than the smoke from her cigarettes. Her eyes teared up and her throat twitched, but she forced herself to hold it in. She passed the pipe to Anna, and the cycle continued. After her fourth turn, Anna brought the pipe up to eye level and squinted at it.

"Cashed," she said quietly, emptying the charred remnants into the palm of her hand. Xiaoyu felt her head wobbling on her neck, but she felt no inclination to make it stop.

"I think this one's cashed, too," said Hwoarang, nodding toward Xiaoyu. "You want another bowl? Or are we good?"

"I'm fine, but if you want more--"

"Nah. All I wanted was a little buzz." He leaned close to Xiaoyu, looking up at her from under his eyebrows. "You okay there, babe?" She opened her mouth to respond, but all that came out was a squeaky giggle.

"Oh yeah," Anna said, putting the lid back on the wooden box, "she's great." She stood and took the box back down the hall.

Xiaoyu started to sway involuntarily. Looking at Hwoarang's confused expression only made her laugh harder. "Man," he said, "you're the biggest lightweight I've ever met." She hiccuped and started to fall over, but he reached out and caught her. He pulled her onto his lap, and she giggled in his ear.

"Hugs make me happy," she sang, leaning against his arms, which held her firmly in place. "Why does my mouth taste like mouth?"

"It's supposed to taste like mouth, honey. It's a mouth."

"But it doesn't usually taste like this."

"Drink some water. That'll make it better." She clumsily grabbed her water bottle, but she had a tough time opening it. Her hand kept slipping off the cap, but eventually, she managed to turn it.

"Give me a reason to be a woman," sang Beth Gibbons. "I just wanna be a woman."

After chugging almost half of the bottle, she leaned forward and smashed her lips onto Hwoarang's. For a moment, his arms tightened around her, and his tongue slipped over hers. He ended the kiss as abruptly as she had started it, though.

"Hey," he whispered, "what'd I tell you about kissing me when you're not sober?"

"I'm not drunk," she protested.

"No, but you're still under the influence. I should give you a ticket." She couldn't help but laugh. On the surface, he looked perfectly fine, but his awful joke told her that he was probably just as high as she was, only more used to it.

Still chuckling, she wriggled out of his arms and lay back on her pillow. Anna came back into the room, one eyebrow raised curiously. "What's so funny in here?" she asked.

"Just me making really stupid jokes," Hwoarang told her.

"So, business as usual, then?" She smirked and flopped onto the biggest pillow in the room, a purple velvet one. "Xiao, honey... it is Xiao, isn't it?" Xiaoyu nodded."What's a beautiful chick like you doing with a doofus like Hwoarang?"

"Doofus?" Hwoarang protested. "I'll have you know that I... I... I don't remember." Xiaoyu and Anna laughed.

"Doofus," Anna repeated. "Doooofus."

"And she's not with me," Hwoarang informed her. "This is the girl I was telling you about."

"Oh? I thought you said Jin was the one who was into her." Anna glanced at Xiaoyu, who was too busy tracing circles in the air with her finger to pay attention to their conversation.

"He is into her."

"And yet you're the one taking her out on a Friday night?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's not like that. I invited him. He's the dumbass who just wanted to sit on his stupid computer all night."

Xiaoyu burst out laughing, and they turned to look at her. "Sorry," she sputtered between giggles, "mental picture."

"Of what?" Hwoarang asked.

"Jin's ass on the computer. Trying to picture him typing with his ass. I don't think you can spell anything right if you type with your ass." Anna barked a laugh, and Hwoarang chuckled quietly.

"I like her," Anna said, nodding her approval. "Jin had better hurry up and reel this one in before I try to turn her to the dark side."

"Dark side?" Xiaoyu asked, rolling onto her side. "What's the dark side?"

"You really want to know?" Anna asked, a sly smile crossing her lips.

"Uh huh."

"Come here, honey." Xiaoyu pushed herself onto her hands and knees and crawled around the table to Anna. Anna reached out and brushed some of Xiaoyu's hair out of her eyes.

"Anna," Hwoarang interrupted, "I don't know--"

"Shh," she stopped him. She turned back to Xiaoyu. "Just tell me if I do anything you don't like, and I'll stop, okay, sweetie?" Xiaoyu nodded slowly. Anna traced Xiaoyu's jawline with her fingertip and watched as the girl's eyes slid closed. Her other hand reached around to massage the girl's scalp. Xiaoyu let her head tilt to the side, and when Anna leaned in for the kiss, she didn't protest.

Hwoarang shifted on his pillow and readjusted his jeans as he watched Xiaoyu accept Anna's kiss. He felt like he should intervene, like there was something wrong with this, but he couldn't make himself move. Instead, he sat and watched, transfixed. Damn, he thought, Jin really missed out this time.

When the girls' lips parted, Xiaoyu turned to Hwoarang, giggling dumbly. "Her mouth tastes like mouth, too," she told him. 


	9. A Late Start

A/N: Well, it's been almost a year, so I guess it's time for another update. It's weird to think I've been working on this story for four years now. Holy hell. You'd think I'd be a lot farther into it, but inspiration comes and goes... and it has a bad habit of coming when I'm nowhere near my computer. Anyway, on with the chapter. And a really big (and probably a bit belated) thank you to the wonderful souls who've left me reviews.  
"I'm so sorry," Hwoarang repeated for the millionth time. "Jesus. What the fuck?"

"Dude," I insisted, "it's okay."

"It's not okay." He pulled into a parking space behind our dorm. "That was completely uncalled for, and she shouldn't have done it."

"Why are you so upset over Anna kissing me?"

"Because she shouldn't have. She knew you're not lesbian, and she did it anyway." He turned the key in the ignition, and the engine died. "I don't care if she was high, it was completely uncalled for."

"You keep saying that, and I keep saying it's okay. I'm okay with it." I shifted in my seat. "You know, my first kiss was with a girl."

"Wait, what?" He blinked at me, and I laughed.

"Yeah. When we were fourteen, me and my friend Miharu decided to practice kissing on each other so that when boys finally started noticing us we'd know what we were doing."

"I didn't think girls actually did that." He stared at me in awe. "I thought it was just a myth concocted by horny teenage boys. Y'know, like scantily clad pillow fights."

"Well, I don't think it happens as often as you guys would like to think it does." I laughed. "And it's certainly not as sexy as I'm sure you imagine it. It was very clumsy and awkward, and it took us, like, half an hour to get up the courage to use our tongues." He laughed, too.

"Remind me, if I ever meet this Miharu, to tell her what a great job she did on you." He winked, and I blushed. He opened his door and hopped out of the truck, and I followed his example. We crossed the parking lot, and he walked me up to my room. "I had a great time tonight," he said, kicking at a spot on the floor.

"So did I. We should do it again sometime."

"Yeah." He leaned in to give me a quick hug. "You're still coming to the party tomorrow, right?"

"Of course."

"You know, Jin's going to be there." He raised an eyebrow at me. "He'll be happy to see you, I'm sure."

"Yeah." I twisted a strand of my hair around my finger. "I'm sure he will." I glanced at Jin's closed door and wondered whether or not he was inside. "Well, thank you," I said, "for the lovely night."

"My pleasure," he replied. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah. Tomorrow." I smiled and shoved my key into the lock on my door. I backed into my room and made sure the door shut all the way.

"Well?" I turned around to see Julia and Christie sitting on the floor in their pajamas. A half-full bowl of popcorn sat between them, and they had been watching The Princess Bride. Now, they both stared up at me with wide, expectant eyes.

"Well what?" I asked, setting my keys on my desk.

"Well?" Julia parroted. "How was the de-stressing?"

"You mean the movie?" I pulled off my sweatshirt and tossed it onto my bed.

"Girl," Christie said, "it is one o'clock in the morning."

"You left at, like, eight," Julia added.

"You are not just getting back from no damn movie." Christie took a handful of popcorn. "So, come on. Spill it."

"We went to a movie, I swear." I stumbled to my bed and laid down. "Then we went over to his friend's apartment and hung out."

"Wait." Christie held up her hands. "Julia, take the popcorn away. Put it over there somewhere." The other girl obliged, and Christie sniffed the air. "Y'all were smoking weed, weren't you?"

"I, uh... I mean..."

"Holy shit, Xiao," Julia exclaimed. "I didn't know you were into that kind of stuff."

"I'm not," I protested. "It was the first time. And probably the last." I rubbed my temples, vaguely aware of the dull ache in my head.

"Good," Christie said, nodding. "Stick with good, old-fashioned forms of intoxication. Like beer."

"Actually," Julia corrected, "studies have shown that both alcohol and marijuana have been used at least as far back as the Stone Age."

"All right, Schoolia, thanks for the history lesson. Now pass that popcorn back over here."

The last thing I heard before I drifted off to sleep was Wesley calling, "As you wish!" as he rolled down the big hill.

- - - - - - - - - -

I checked the number on the door against the note in my hand. Yep, this was the right room. I knocked, but no one answered, so I tried turning the handle. The door swung slowly open, and I walked into the dimly lit hotel room.

"Hey, Xiao!" Hwoarang called, beer in hand. "You made it after all!" He staggered toward me, spilling some of his beer, and planted a big, wet kiss on my forehead. Then he disappeared. I looked around. The room was full of people, but I didn't know any of them.

"Yeah," came a voice from a shadowy corner, "he does that sometimes. You get used to it." I squinted into the darkness and could barely make out the familiar features of Jin's face. "Come here. I need to tell you something."

"You're in the dark," I protested.

"It's okay. I need to tell you something."

"Why can't you tell me in the light?"

"Hurry, Xiao. Hurry. I need to tell you something."

Suddenly, I was standing right next to Jin. I must have walked closer, but I didn't remember doing so. "What do you need to tell me?" I asked, vaguely aware of the fact that the other partygoers had vanished as well. Jin put his hands on my arms and thrust me against the wall. My gasp was cut short as his lips swooped down to meet mine. The kiss was hard and rough, dripping with lust.

My feet were abruptly lifted off the ground, and Jin threw me across the room. I landed on a soft bed. I sat up and looked all around, but Jin was nowhere to be found. Shivering from the sudden cold, I wrapped myself in a big, blue blanket.

- - - - - - - - - -

When I woke up in the morning, it took me a few minutes to figure out why I was still fully clothed. My head was at the wrong end of the bed, my feet were under my pillow, and I was tangled up in the drawstrings of my favourite sweatshirt. With a groan, I sat up and looked at the clock.

It wasn't morning after all. It was definitely two in the afternoon.

Julia was nowhere to be seen, but she had left a sticky note on my computer monitor. I slid off the bed and leaned over to read it. "Xiao, I'm at the computer lab. If you're up before I get back, write me back and let me know if you wanna come to the D-Chi party with me tonight! Love, Schoolia. PS, hope your head doesn't hurt too bad! Drink some water!"

The truth was, my head still ached a little, but the pain was tolerable. Three ibuprofens would be more than enough to make it all better. I scribbled a quick note to Julia politely declining her invitation and letting her know that I had other plans. Then, I dragged myself into the bathroom to take a shower.

The hot water felt amazing. I don't know how long I stood there, just feeling the water wash over my body, before I finally decided to do the whole shampoo, conditioner, soap, and shave routine. By the time I was done, my fingers and toes were pruney. I dried off, wrapped up in a towel, and went back into my room.

I threw on jeans and a black T-shirt, stepped into flip flops, and slipped my sweatshirt over my head. I picked up my keys and, locking the door behind me, headed downstairs and outside. The air was cool despite the bright sun, and the campus was alive with people who had probably just finished sleeping off their hangovers.

I ducked behind the building and lit up a cigarette. God bless R.J. Reynolds. Closing my eyes, I leaned against the brick wall, which was cool against my back.

"I thought I saw you sneak back here." I opened my eyes and saw Hwoarang grinning at me. He pulled out and lit a cigarette, then leaned against the wall next to me. "So, did you have fun last night, Ganja Woman?"

"Ganja Woman?" I snorted. "I took, like, three puffs and started speculating as to why we don't drown in the air because it's made up mostly of water. I hardly think that makes me a Ganja Woman." He laughed out loud.

"So that's what you were thinking so hard about." He shook his hair out of his eyes. "Jin's all freaking out about this party tonight. I'm not sure he's ever been to a real party in his whole life."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. He's up there trying on outfits. He's such a woman sometimes." I laughed. "Maybe you ought to go up there and pick something out for him. I say you dress him up in something goofy and tell him it's sexy as hell. You know he'll wear it."

"Aw, that'd be so mean!" I giggled. "Besides, I don't even know what I'm going to wear."

"You're a girl. You'll look gorgeous no matter what you wear." I blushed a little and used the last drag on my cigarette as an excuse to look down. My hair fell into my eyes as I dropped the butt and stamped it out. "Oh, don't give me that Miss Modesty crap. You know you're fuckin' hot."

"I think you're silly," I said. "What time should I be ready tonight?"

"We'll probably come by your room around nine. Does that sound okay?"

"Yeah, that works. So that gives me, oh, about six hours to get ready."

"Is that enough? I mean, I know you chicks take fuckin' forever to get ready for parties." He winked at me, and I grinned back.

"I think I can manage." 


End file.
